A love letter to myself before I lost the weight

Three years ago I fell in love. I found the love of my life in the first few weeks of university. I put on a few pounds of the freshman 15 combined with the carefree honeymoon stage of my relationship. I went on the pill and my weight spiralled from there. I couldn’t control my cravings and I felt like no matter what I did I kept gaining weight. I tried to give up sugar cold turkey, it worked for a month and then I would binge on sweets and I was back where I started. I was so fed up I went off the pill and after a few months I was slimming down. I was happy.

One October morning I hurt my back. Not “I slept on it wrong” I couldn’t walk. My amazing boyfriend had to lift me into the car. I couldn’t do anything for months. Naturally my weight went up. After I was back on my feet I started training ¬†again. I’m a full time athlete on the Canadian National team. I went to training camp and my weight started going down. All of the sudden I started to love my reflection.

Next came racing season. I was more preoccupied with going fast than I was with my weight. It was as if the moment I stopped worrying about the scale the weight started to melt off. It wasn’t until I returned home from a trip to Europe that everyone started telling me how great I looked. I didn’t realize how much leaner I was until other people said it.

img_7848

This is the difference between September 2015 and July 2016. About 20lbs and 10% body fat separate these two photos.

The next photos are special to me. I love the body on the left just as much as I do the body on the right. The girl on the left worked so hard to lose 7lbs. She was just starting to feel great about herself. Her hard work was finally paying off after two years. The photo on the left I was 180lbs in April 2016 and the photo on the right is me now at 165lbs.

img_7843

To the girl who couldn’t seem to lose the weight. I love you. I love how hard you’re working even though you feel as if nothing is changing. I love that you were finally able to be honest with yourself about your nutrition. I love that now your athlete persona in your mind finally matches your body. I love that your amazing boyfriend loved you when you didn’t love yourself. I love how proud you feel and I love that you aren’t finished yet.

HM

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s